Thank you so much for writing about this it gives me great perspective on what some of my family members have experienced but haven’t been able to articulate. The spectrum of mental illness/wellness is just that—a spectrum—and self sabotage happens at both ends. Writing is a salvation for me and helps avert self sabotage. Letter writing to friends has been like free therapy over the years, and during really rough patches in life I had a journal I called “pages of rage” and I just wrote, uncensored, stream of consciousness all of my unhinged thoughts and when I was done, after a few weeks I burned it. I hope those things might be helpful to you.
Also, I collaborate with a lot of artists, it’s also a great antidote to self sabotage because it’s focused outward and involves others opening the circle…. Of creativity and life.